We were first going to make a transcript of the speech in order to deal with it point by point, but then we realized just how long it would take and how much time it would waste.
This speaker states that men are largely removed from the conversation about domestic and sexual violence, and that’s a bad thing. We agree with him that far.
He then goes on to say that the reason the reason this removal is bad is because, as the perpetrators of almost all domestic and sexual violence are male, men are really at fault for these problems and that they should be made more aware of what they’re doing wrong. This we can’t agree with, for one simple reason: it’s completely incorrect. Within the U.S. and most other first-world countries, rape and domestic violence display gender-symmetry in victimization. What that means, in short, is that men are just as likely to be victims as women. Likewise, roughly half of all perpetrators of domestic violence are women, and they make up about 40% of all rapists outside of prison.
At this point, the rest of his speech basically falls apart. Without that first, fundamental assumption that men are the overall cause of the problem, little of the rest carries much weight. It’s definitely true that men are removed from the conversation about domestic and sexual violence, but the greatest removal is not in the discussion of men as perpetrators but the discussion of men as victims. Society is more than happy to blame men for the ills women suffer (see things like the “White Ribbon Campaign” and “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes”) but equally happy to turn a blind eye to the men who suffer and women who victimize. The conversation that’s not happening isn’t the one about the men who victimize or the women who are victims (though there’s certainly a benefit to getting men more involved in that one as well), it’s the one about the women who victimize and the men who are victims. The former may not have as many men involved as it could, but the latter simply isn’t happening at all.
We do need to focus more on the perpetrators of gender violence. The first step towards doing that is to stop ignoring half of them.
At first I was going to ask how you could completely miss the entire point of this video, but it’s clear through the statistics you provided that you live in an alternate universe. ”Roughly half of all perpetrators of domestic violence are women, and they make up about 40% of all rapists outside of prison”…. are you serious? Go find a mirror and repeat that sentence to yourself a few times until the absurdity sinks in and you realize how fucking useless you are.